Hello, What The Hell Are You Doing Here?

Through fights, through arguments, through disagreements.

You were there. But now, you're leaving.

Gone. Never going to be the same.

This. Is. It. Life as we know it is different. Forever. No turning back.

Just adjusting. To this new life. These new ways.

Embrace it. There's really no other way to cope with it. This feeling of loss. This feeling of sorrow.

Just deal with it. Suck it up. "Be a man."

I'm not a man. I'm a vulnerable little girl. Not knowing what to do with this new life.

I'm not ready to change. Not ready to "cope."

But here it comes. Whether I like it or not.

A tidal wave of emotions about to come crashing down.

Not knowing whether or not it's powerfulness is going to knock me off my feet, or if I'll be able to stand strong.

All that's left is that one goodbye.

Hello Out There

Stress.

Anger.

The over-whelming urge to punch a hole in your wall.

Take a deep breath.

In through your nose.

Out through your mouth.

Stress ball?

Zoloft?

I just need a fricken break.

Leave me alone.

Let me relax.

I can't do everything.

I can't be everywhere.

I ask for one thing,

one thing.

Just do it for me.

Dumb Bitches

Walking around with your "swagger,"

you don't know shit.

Talking trash about people,

you deserve to get hit.

Not knowing left from right,

up from down,

what an idiot.

People like you, I despise.

I can just see the lie in your eyes.

Get over yourself,

your just another barbie on the shelf.

Not getting enough knowledge intake,

get some common sense for God's sake.

To all those dumb bitches that don't have a clue,

This whole poem is about you.

3/27/10

Tears fall another day,

I'm one cut away.

This place is like a fiery hell,

I'm dissolving cell by cell.

Being emotionally beaten,

my high spirits have figuratively been eaten.

I guess I'll never be mentally well,

until I reach the gates of hell.

5/27/10

Kill me.
Don't do it slowly,
do it fast.
I don't want this moment to last.
The pain is deep.
I want it to end.
At last, death is my friend.